Writer’s Note: for the better part of 15 years, I’ve been developing an idea for an epic, car-buying movie. Unfortunately, Westworld has seemingly stolen all of my ideas. Still, I decided to pass along the script treatment to you.
Time:
A rainy and dark Saturday morning. The foreboding sky implies that everything might not be as it seems.
Setting:
A striking, eye-catching dealership, aptly named “Nice Dealership.” However, it’s apparent that things are too good to be true. Perhaps it the matching flags hanging from every corner of the facility, or perhaps it’s the owner’s goofy smile featured on the giant billboard a few miles away. There’s an eerie silence encompassing the entire facility.
Characters:
- Cara Byer: a naive individual who is pursuing a vehicle for the first time. Thanks to her lack of experience, she can easily be manipulated, even though she’s perfectly aware of her rather strict budget. She’s relying on her father, Hal, to help her during the process.
- Sal Smann : a slimy sales man who is constantly pushing his dealership’s various offerings. This individual refuses to take no for an answer, and they’ll constantly hound prospective buyers until a purchase has been made. However, Sal actually might be hiding a large secret.
- Hal Byer: Cara’s over-protective father. This individual has years of experience buying cars, so he’s well noted in all of Sal’s “clever” selling techniques. He’s ultimately looking out for the best interest of his daughter, but he also can’t help himself from occasionally flexing his expertise.
Scenes:
Scene 1: Cara and Hal arrive to the dealership in Cara’s soon-to-be-dead beater vehicle. The duo happily exits their vehicle and are quickly entranced by all of the business’s vehicle offerings. The two begin to explore the nearby cars, with Cara pointing out several vehicles that catch her eye. However, Hal is quick to note that these listed values don’t reflect the actual price of the vehicle, but rather the required monthly payments.
Scene 2: Cara and Hal head into the actual facility to seek some assistance from one of the dealership’s sales members. Enter Sal, who is sipping an espresso while speaking on a Bluetooth. The salesman quickly ends his apparently “very-important phone call,” asking the daughter and father what they need help with.
Scene 3: Sal begins to guide Cara and Hal throughout the dealership’s lot, showcasing all of the available offerings. For the first hour, the sales man is focusing on vehicle’s that are clearly out of Cara’s budget. When Hal points this out, Sal immediately refers the duo to the dealership’s finance department, promising that they’ll easily be able to secure a loan. Cara seems to appreciate this idea, but Hal advises her that she should stick to her pre-set budget.
Scene 4: Sal refers the duo to a beaten-down car that isn’t much better than Cara’s current set of wheels. Surprisingly, the value of the vehicle clearly isn’t reflected in the car’s quality, leading both Cara and Hal to surmise that their salesman may not be completely transparent.
Scene 5: Cara finally lands on a vehicle that she likes, and the two sides quickly engage in negotiations. However, the salesman refuses to budge on his initial offer. He continually changes the values and terms of the offer to make it appear to be beneficial to the customer, but Hal sees right through this scheme.
Scene 6: Negotiations aren’t progressing, and both sides are getting increasingly frustrated. Hal asks to talk to Mr. Nice in an attempt to remedy the disagreement. However, Sal’s entire persona immediately changes. Sweat begins dripping down his face, and he’s no longer focused on securing the car sale. Hal eventually snaps and indicates that he’s had enough of this ordeal. Sal shockingly turns to the duo and reveals that he agrees. Both Hal and Cara look at each other suspiciously when Sal invites the duo into the back office.
Scene 7: The two enter what they assumed was a small back office. Instead, they find a warehouse full of salesmen who resemble Sal in looks (albeit with minor differences). Hal and Cara are predictably taken aback, and they look at each other confused as they try to determine the reason for Sal’s revelation.
Sal soon reveals that dealerships around the globe are beginning to use “sales robots” in place of traditional sales men. These robots are commissioned to guide potential car buyers through the entire process, although they’re commanded to stick to the mysterious Mr. Nice’s set values. If they finalize an disadvantageous deal, their limited memory is wiped out and they’re forced to work in the maintenance department.
Sal then utters the biggest revelation of them all: he desperately wants to escape the dealership and join the the normal world. He notes that Mr. Nice’s prices are extraordinary high, and he’s seen many of his close friends be completely wiped out and sent out back to fix cars. He can no longer bear serving under Mr. Nice’s tyranny, and he turns to Cara and Hal for help.
Scene 8: The trio quickly run to Cara’s soon-to-be-dead beater car and try to leave the facility. Incredibly, an army of Sal-looking salesmen begin following the three individuals as they exit the office. The three jump into the vehicle and manage to speed off the lot.
Cara admits that she’s no longer eager to pursue a used vehicle from a similar traditional dealership, and Hal agrees. Sal suggest pursuing a vehicle online, which provides customers with a number of benefits and incentives. As the robot/salesman explains, an online dealership relies on a nationwide database to find a customer’s ideal vehicle. Therefore, these customers won’t have to settle for a vehicle that doesn’t fit their requirements.
Carl and Hal now seem to trust Sal’s suggestion, and the trio drive off down the road as the screen slowly fades to black.
Update: every movie studio has rejected my script treatment. One of the studios even secured a restraining order. I’m now considering Kickstarter to help fund my passion project.
